Fly on the wall, in the face, and in the ointment

 
[Ring Ring Ring]

Copy boy in tight jeans:    Hello?

Ali:    Helleeeeww.  It's me.  I've got a block on this Ocean's Kingdom review.  I can't wrap my head around it.  What are the twits and bloggers saying?  What's that Hellish Heel say?

Copy boy in tight jeans:    You mean Hag–

Ali:    Sshhh!  We must talk in code.  It's Hellish Heel.  We must talk in code.  Otherwise I could end up having to give a research credit in my review.  You heard what happened to poor Connie after she stole all those ideas about the Staten Island Art Walk from the little blogger without noting in her article where she'd done her research.  My God,  Romenesko had a field day with it.  The last thing that I need is to find myself on Romenesko's radar.

Copy boy in tight jeans:    He's retiring from Poynter.org, you know.

Ali:    Retiring?  That's good to hear.

Copy boy in tight jeans:    He's starting his own blog.

Ali:  Oh my God, No!  Please, not another dance blog!

Copy boy in tight jeans:    No, Silly Ali.  A media blog. 

Ali:    Oh, that's a relief. Now, help me with this Ocean's thing.

Copy boy in tight jeans:    Well, the very first thing Hellish says is that the music is the most gorgeous ballet score to come along in years.  He thinks our girl's costume makes her look like a Sherman tank and that the finale is as weak as an Olympics parade.

Ali:    What?!  He can't make a pronouncement like that.  Only I can make such pronouncements.  I must respond.  I must fire back.  I must execute an opening line with such skill and force that it will make everyone in twitter and blogger land shudder at my literary powers.

Copy boy in tight jeans:    Ali, why is that important?

Ali:    That's it!  It's not important.  It's not important at all.  I will make it not important.  I so-o-o love the word "important" and when I can "not" it, it becomes even more delicious.

Copy boy in tight jeans:    Actually, I'm not following what you are saying.

Ali:    I will simply pronounce that Paul McCartney's score is in no way important.  That's it!  I've got it!  It will make me look important if I use the word "important" in my first sentence.

Copy boy in tight jeans:    Actually,  I think it will make you look like a pompous ass.

Ali:    Whose side are you on?!  Why don't you go "actually" yourself.  And don't ask to borrow my Ocean's Kingdom souvenir tee shirt – ever. 

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