Haglund's Heel

Ballet Cop on the Beat: Times to remember

In today's edition of The New York Times, Alastair Macaulay, who has no practical dance education whatsoever, reviews Mark Morris’s The Hard Nut.  He calls it a “revelation” and “among the most touching” of all the productions he’s seen – and probably not seen.  He experienced “tears of wonder” while watching it and on and on and on.

 

It’s worth revisiting the New York Times review of Morris's production which was written by someone who does have a practical and applied dance education, someone who does know a step or two, someone who stood at the barre for a good while before pronouncing herself as a critical authority:

 

Boring choreography: That is certainly what you don't expect from Mark Morris but that is certainly what you get, sight gags aside, at the Brooklyn Academy of Music, where Mr. Morris's sitcom, "The Hard Nut," had its American premiere on Friday night.

Look at a current aspect of the international dance scene that hovers on intellectual bankruptcy and you find retellings of the ballet classics like Mats Ek's "Giselle," set in an insane asylum, and now, Mr. Morris's conceptual "Nutcracker" that begins in a vaguely 1960's suburban American living room.

And this:

The jokes in this production, in Mr. Burns's hostility-ridden world of uglies, are mainly associated with bodily functions. Drosselmeier, the usual godfather, kisses the hand of the heroine's sister and then wipes his lips while she smells her hands and makes a face. The suspicion that Mr. Morris as a party guest in Act I is headed for the bathroom proves true when he returns, toilet paper stuck to his shoe.

And this:

There is nothing sacred about "The Nutcracker" as a ballet and Mr. Morris does not trash Tchaikovsky's glistening score. But he does trivialize it; unlike Peter Sellars, with whom he has worked and whose opera productions have similar provocative updatings, he manages, choreographically, to miss the musical climaxes consistently by a mile. The whole thing sounds better on paper than it looks onstage.

You may want to read the entire review written by Anna Kisselgoff when the production debuted in the U.S.  Anna stood at the barre.

What’s a reader to conclude about the cultural guidance that The New York Times gives its national readership when it flip-flops on something as basic as The Nutcracker?  Macaulay’s reviews are little more than a telling of his tastes.  If all he has to offer is his taste, he should be reviewing restaurants.  When it comes to ballet, we need a critic with more sophisticated and fundamental knowledge.

 

 

Ballet Cop on the Beat – Stop the jihad

According to the Itar-Tass news agency, Grigorovich’s Spartacus has just won the “Champion” title of Ballet of the 21st Century.  And it was such an underdog.  Apparently, the Russians didn’t get the memo from Jennifer Homans that Spartacus was “quite clearly a degraded form of art” – oh, my goodness.  Oh, wait, was that Spartacus on the front of the Summer 2010 Ballet Review?  How can there be a degraded form of art on the cover of this ballet scholar quarterly?  Oh, my goodness, again. 

 

Haglund wishes that the Balanchinistas would stop their jihadish effort to portray all choreographers as inferior to Balanchine.  It’s starting to look like the Elvis fans attacking the Beatles, and Balanchine didn’t even come close to what Elvis was.  It’s truly tiresome and a turn-off. 

 

Any Balanchinista’s quality-comparison of choreography she knows intimately as the result of performing it to choreography she knows only casually as a spectator doesn’t square.  The bias can’t be controlled for.   It doesn’t add up to anything but a gassy pile of digested beans.

 

Haglund remembers walking out on a Pacific Northwest Ballet performance in the early '80s, when the company was a marginal Balanchine franchise, because he was so offended by the women’s substitution of Balanchine cliches and faults for fundamental ballet technique.  Flapping wrists, practiced overbites, splayed fingers, crotch-displaying arabesques, flailing arms – that was the aesthetic presented at that time.  Thank goodness it’s dying – if all too slowly.  Thank goodness NYCB women don’t dance like they used to dance.  Thank goodness.

 

Now, for a Spartacus thrill, go here.  This clip is a splicing together of performances by Vasiliev/Maximova and Mukhamedov/Bessmertnova – sixteen years apart.  Thrilling.  Dramatic.  Passionate.

Ballet Cop on the Beat – at the Grand Tier Bar

Warner:   They seem smaller this year.

Haglund:  Who? What?

Warner:   The Bolle Slurpees  – they’re smaller this year – less mint, more fizzy.

Haglund:  Well, you know, he’s a year older and not as much of a novelty anymore.  He went on ABT‘s disabled list, but then flew right back to Italy to perform in Mats Ek’s weirdo Giselle.  That’s gonna piss off a few people.

Warner:   No kidding.  If he’s too injured to dance his ABT commitments, he shouldn’t dance anywhere.  It’s pissin’ me off.   Why doesn’t the guy get his ankle fixed - probably because he’ll lose too much money during rehab.  It stinks. These drinks are awful.  Really watered down.

Haglund:  Bolle’s got to economize like the rest of us.  You know, “do more with less.”

Warner:   Who’s Les?

Haglund:  ROFL, literally, Man.  What do ya suppose that Jared Matthews drinks?  Probably some type of wheat grass juice with crushed vitamins —

Bartender:  Did I hear you say you want a Jared Matthews?

Warner:      Yeah.  Two shots of Jared Matthews – right here.

Bartender:  That’ll be $50.

Warner:      Come ooon. Gimme a break!

Bartender:  Sorry.  Premium priced.  This year’s gonna be his year.

Warner:      Where’s UC31?

Haglund:    Working.

Warner:     I thought you said he was gonna be here tonight.

Haglund:    He’s working on a Buy & Bust Op in the Parterre.

Warner:     Who’s the perp?

Haglund:    I dunno - some blond lady.

Warner:     Aren’t they all blond in Parterre?  Kind of a challenge to find one who isn’t.

Haglund:    Look, UC31 said he’d meet us here at the bar if he could —

UC31:        — Right here behind ya, Man. 

Haglund:   Didn’t see you, Man - what’s with those dorky glasses and funny hair?  You look like – you look like —

UC31:       Garrison Keillor.

Haglund:  No kidding!  You do!

UC31:     Thanks, Man.  I spent hours in the Precinct Make-Up chair for this assignment. 

Warner:  Did you get the perp yet?

UC31:     Not yet.  Can’t find her.  Too many blonds in Parterre.  Gotta leave tomorrow for Italy on a new assignment - something to do with Bolle dancing completely nude while he’s injured.

Warner:  Be careful out there.

UC31:  Thanks, Man.  The stakes are high - they tell me.  But I'll have to see it for myself.

Ballet Cop on the Beat: Price Gouging

At approximately 1600 hours today, UC31 of the 20th Precinct’s Patron Battering Squad radioed to the H.H. Command Post that he had identified pending box office price gouging at the Metropolitan Opera House.  The actual transmission experienced some interference from Renee Fleming’s lovely Armida purring from the overhead speakers in the lobby, but UC31 repeated it thrice into his wristwatch to Haglund’s disbelieving ears:

Orchestra Standing Room for the Metropolitan Opera is $20, but American Ballet Theatre plans to charge as much as $31 for Orchestra Standing Room beginning in May.  The Met Opera charges $15 for Family Circle Standing Room, but American Ballet Theatre plans to charge $25 for Family Circle Standing Room.

With unemployment hovering at 10% and the economy struggling so badly, why does ABT have to sucker-punch the poor person?  The people who stand at the ballet don’t do so in spite of being able to afford cushy orchestra seats.  No, they love the ballet so much that they are willing to stand up for three hours to watch it.  

Shame on ABT for grabbing at poor people’s wallets.

The "Fred Step" Spurs Synchronicity

Pas de bourree on over to the Ballet Bag to check out Linda's March 29 article on Frederick Ashton which illuminates – by detail and by video of Scene 1 of La Fille Mal Gardee – the "Fred Step. " It's a very thorough article and delightful reading.  It even quotes Alastair Macaulay on Ashton.

But what a coincidence!

This afternoon (March 30) Alastair Macaulay decided to write about the "Fred Step" in his ArtsBeat blog at The New York Times as though he had just thought of it out of the blue.  He followed the same type of detail in explaining the step as did the Ballet Bag and then described his favorite instance of the use of the step as being in Scene 1 of La Fille Mal Gardee - the exact scene that Bag Lady Linda had inserted video for in her article to illustrate the Fred Step! 

It's not the first time that a New York Times dance critic has experienced unexpected synchronicity with a ballet blogger or forum.