Haglund's Heel

So long, Mr. Steinbrenner.

RIP, Boss.

MLB Trade Fantasy

Yes, yes, yes, it's the Major League Ballet trading season again.  Armchair team managers everywhere are speculating about free agencies, draft picks, and about who in their right mind would let the World Series MVP slip through their fingers.  

Haglund has heard back from some of the people who took his advice and watched the San Francisco Ballet's The Nutcracker on PBS today and then spent a few minutes examining the SFB website's video section that highlights its principal dancers.  There definitely seems to be a consensus building that one of our teams in New York needs to sign Davit Karapetyan ASAP.  He is clearly a New York style guy and should bring his enormous talent and glamour to The Big Apple where it can be drooled over by the masses and properly exploited.

Here's what Haglund proposes.  In exchange for Karapetyan, we'll send ABT soloist Cory Stearns, who is guesting this weekend in SFB's The Nutcracker, and two players from the ABT II minor league squad to San Francisco.  Conceivably, we could agree to throw in that little David Alvarez, too, but we would need to have him back in three years.  So that part would just be a loan.  We could also give up Aszure Barton's One of Three, but Helgi Tomasson probably wouldn't see that as doing much for his team and might even consider it as some kind of trick designed to alienate the core audience and make it less likely that SFB would make the Playoffs next year.  We could give it a try, though.   

Next on the agenda:  how to get Edward Watson in pinstripes – for a few games, at least.

Yankees Win Yankees Win Yankees Win !

     Haglund salutes the NY Yankees – World Series Champs!

World Series Balletics – 10/31

What a fantastic Halloween Night!   Like a team of Draculas, the New York Yankees sucked the blood out of the Philadelphia Phillies AND almost everyone brought home candy – even Nick Swisher and Johnny Damon.  Don’t misunderstand – those two are still in the Haglund’s Heel Doghouse for lousy form.  Damon with his wide open fourth position stance in the batter’s box looks like he’s trying to be some kind of Balanchine ballerina.  Swisher’s goofy tics and wild bat swinging in the box are enough to send Haglund crawling for his little pills. 

But last night Mr. Andy Pettitte stood in the batter’s box with perfect, textbook form and looked like the perfect Nutcracker Prince as he whacked out a hit which incited the Yankees’ greedy bats further.

A great night indeed!

But Guys, we gotta talk about the spitting, etc.  Maybe the camera operators aren't doing it on purpose, but it seems that they are overly alert to catching players in ungraceful moments.  Last night, broadcaster Joe Buck was praising Alex Rodriguez when the camera shot him off third base launching a wet wad out his left nostril which was quite full.  Then Buck starts into more high praises for Philly Jimmy Rollins who was observed launching into a fit of spitting.  The camera seemed to seek out Johnny Damon every time he adjusted his dance belt, and there just had to be a checklist to get a shot of every single player spitting.  Spitting on the field.  Spitting in the dugout.  Spitting. Spitting. Spitting.  Guys, it’s flu season.  Dial it back.

Tonight C.C. "Chubby Cheeks" Sabathia rolls to the mound in an attempt to roll over the Phillies in Game 4.  He can do it.  No question. 

Go Yankees!  Point those toes.

World Series Balletics 10/26

Haglund is jubilant and looking ahead to Wednesday’s Game One of the World Series.

The Yankees need to be nervous.  This Philadelphia ballet team is a lot more than a bunch of little Theme and Variations.  This season their players have a powerful arsenal that includes Agnes de Mille’s Rodeo and John Cranko’s Romeo and Juliet.  And most dangerous of all – they have a Boston connection.  Well, so do the Yankees, but he’s been a wimpy question mark ever since he cut off his hair.

So, on to Game One with “Chubby Cheeks” Sabathia leading the charge.  He really is a monster, and ‘tis the season for monsters.  

Go C.C.!   Monster Mash all over the Phillies!

 

World Series Balletics – 10/22

Just when Haglund was about to send himself to the showers, the New York Yankees came to life to take the lead in last night’s ALCS game against the LA Angels – only to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory a few minutes later.  Yankee rightfielder Nick Swisher needs a serious dunk.  0 for 5 in last night’s game, he had the hero-opportunity of the night in the 9th inning with bases loaded, and he blew it.  With a  .118 average, he’s not just lightweight – his bat is made out of paper.  Get him out of there.  Put in a seasoned guy like J.M. Carreno, who delivered the best Albrecht of last season with Ananiashvili’s Giselle, but is getting no respect this year.  No respect at all.

Just look at the ABT subscription brochure that arrived yesterday.  Carreno, the hottest and most virile dancer on the team, gets a tiny picture in his sailor suit.  And to add insult to injury, the brochure shows a stunning picture of glorious Irina Dvorovenko as Nikiya - a role which she is being denied in the upcoming season – a brilliant performance which we are being denied as well.

And so, it’s on to Game 6 Saturday night, where if Andy Pettitte can’t put it away, “Chubby Cheeks” Sabathia will roll up to the mound the next day and knock the Angels' halos all the way back to LA. 

Let’s get the job done by putting the right people in the game.

 

World Series Balletics – 10/20

CC "Chubby Cheeks" Sabathia powered the New York Yankee's defense past the LA Angels while A-Rod, Jeter, Cabrera, and, can you believe it, Damon, pounded the Angels with their bats in last night's 100 to 1 win – okay, okay, it was 10 to 1, but the pummeling was so severe that it must have felt like 100 to 1 to the Angels.

"Chubby Cheeks" jiggled through all 9 innings making the case that pretty-boy, light-weight pitchers who cannot deliver should not be given starting assignments on our ballet team.  He was, as his teammates described him, a monster.  He delivered.

Haglund continues to convince many people that the startling resemblance of Yankee Manager Joe Girardi to Rudolph Nureyev is no coincidence.  When you're watching the game Thursday night, look at Girardi's lean, Nureyev-like cheekbones, his lips, and his flashing eyes.  It's Rudy. 

  
 
Go Yankees.  Point those toes!

 

World Series Balletics

When the New York Yankees whuuped the Minnesota Twins in the Division Playoffs, they whuuped a team in a great, great city, Minneapolis, that unfortunately has never solidly supported a major classical ballet company in its town.  Now the Yankees are whuuping the LA Angels, a team in a great, great city that despite its vast cultural offerings can’t manage to support its own major ballet company.

The message is clear:  You wanna get by the Yankees this year, you’ve gotta have a great ballet company in your city.  We’ve got two.

Last night's game was a thriller.  Jerry Hairston, Jr., a utility player who during his career has played all of the outfield positions, 1st base, 2nd base and shortstop, stepped into the batter's box in the 13th as a pinch hitter, smacked a single and ended up crossing the plate with the winning run.  He's our hero.  He's our John Paxson (1993 three-point swish for the Bulls' championship).  He's our Sascha Radetsky.

Dust out the Canyon.  Our heroes are on their way.